Improving Communication: The Effect of Gossip, and Tips To Eliminating It From Your Conversations

Gossip is bad. Regardless of how many reasons we can find to justify it, the effects and repercussions that follow are never good. Gossip can be defined as casual conversations about other people typically involving information that has not yet been confirmed. We’ve all been there. Whether we’re catching up with an old friend or a co-worker over a drink after a long day – we are looking to continue a conversation then suddenly another person becomes the topic of discussion. To make things worse, when we leave the conversation we’ve left feeling guilty thinking “why did I say that?”

Today I’m going to share with you the tips that have helped me remove gossip from my communications.

1. Realize The Power Of Words

If someone told you that your words reflect who you are – would you still feel comfortable speaking the way you have over the last few months? All our actions do is reaffirm what we have come to believe about ourselves. If we eat well and exercise, we believe we are fit. Often times when we gossip about others, it’s a projection of the insecurities we hold. 

Pro Tip: Before engaging in gossip, Ask Yourself: “Why do I feel that discussing the lives of others is the only valuable information I can bring to a conversation?

2. Hold Yourself To A Higher Standard

When you hold yourself to a higher standard, it reflects in other parts of your life. Toxic situations and relationships you used to tolerate will now become intolerable. Raising your standards will attract the right opportunities and people that will propel you forward.

Pro Tip: Ask Yourself “What would the best version of myself think about what I’m about to do?”

3. Gossiping Makes It Difficult To Build Meaningful Friendship and Relationships

Gossiping doesn’t make others look bad, it makes you look bad. When you engage in this behaviour it will have those around you wondering what you’re saying about them when they aren’t around. Once those around you adopt this mindset, they will become cautious about what they share with you. In order to build deep, meaningful relationships – a foundation of trust and comfort needs to be built. Speak well of others behind their back and let that positive karma come right back to you.

Pro Tip: Ask Yourself “Are my actions consistent with the types of relationships I’d like to bring into my life?”

4. Be The Example

Be the kind of person that makes others want to step up their game. Stop talking about how big of a gossip another person is, and start with you! Make the change, and be the example.

5. Don’t Let Your Environment Change You

Have you ever been in a situation where everyone else around you seemed to be gossiping about a certain individual and you felt the need to participate to fit in?

The first thing I’d like to shed light on is a quote by Jim Rohn. He once said

“You are like the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

I want bring this to your attention because when we constantly put ourselves in compromising situations with people that convince you that gossiping is socially acceptable, we are letting the best version of ourselves down because although we know better, we aren’t consciously doing better. We are solely responsible for our own personal development; our friends are not the reason we gossip so much. We are. We chose who we surround ourselves with. Take control of your life.

Pro Tip: Ask yourself: “What actions and behaviours are compromising my standards?”